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15th of April, 2024

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Here Comes President Cringe Again


So, I was sitting at the trainstop tonight, on my way home from work, listening to a podcast of Nightline on my iPod, in which they covered the spreading avian flu epidemic and, jumpin’ jehosephat, we all gonna die. But I knew that. However, they had sound bites of Chimpy McHitler doing a couple of press conferences, and I’ll be damned if he doesn’t butcher this one even worse than nuclear. Did you know we’re sitting on a pandemic of Èvian Flu? If you’ve ever wondered what the French were doing to contribute to the end of mankind as we know it, aside from accordion music, now you know.


I swear, the boy’s sounding more like a cross between John Wayne and Emily Litella with every passing sentence. In a matter of months, he’ll be giving the State of the Union address, and will sign off $200 billion to preserve our natural racehorses.

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