You Bitch!
20th of November, 2017

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Rube

An Advanced and Magical Blogger at an Unbelievable Price!

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Blogger-Speakers


Ok, they just announced the actual bloggers. But I’m already on beer number 4, so I’m not sure I’ve got all the names right. Just scroll for updates or, more likely corrections.


UPDATE 8:27 PM:

First speakerette, Modeste, from Melancholie Modeste! All she’s doing at the moment, is reading a favorite post for the crowd. What she is not doing, however, is telling the crowd how, about 30 minutes ago, she was eyeing my unit at the bar. Which she was, I caught her. Once my honey-baby came back from the bathroom, though, Modeste saw she had not a chance, as my honey-baby is looking mighty fine indeed this evening.


UPDATE 8:31 PM:

The next guy is up, and I have no idea who he is. He’s from Cologne, apparently. He speaks an irritating mixture of English and German, because it’s cool, and there’s a sign behind him that says “Rebels without a Market”. The Modeste is gone, and didn’t even bother to mention me. Lesbian.


UPDATE 8:46 PM:

Another dude has token over the mike, a guy named ‘ix’, apparently in refence to the home planet of the Harkonnens in Dune, because he’s fat and hairy. I’m starting to get the hang of this presentation. For the last 10 minutes, he’s been reading his blog for the people, in an uninteresting, droning voice that’s slowly lulling me into the “y’now, maybe I will have that 5th beer” frame of mind. Blah...blah... Blah! Outside of the open bar, the whole event to this point could have been taken care of with a couple of emails.


UPDATE 8:55 PM:

Veterans of Georgia blog-meets might want to sit down for this update. It’s a blogger meet here, with an open bar, that means free German beer and French wine, and I, Rube, am the only one who’s drunk! I can’t imagine the carnage of an open bar at the Wreckyll, for example.


Some chick just spoke for the crowd, but I missed her name, and, frankly, never really got into her presentation.


UPDAET 9:02 PM:

Honey-baby says she’s also drunk, and expressed displeasure that they don’t serve whiskey here at the open bar. I’m inclined to agree, but am reluctant to raise a stink about it.


UPDATE 9:08 PM:

I may have forgotten to mention that the peanuts here on the bar are excellent!


UPDATE 9:13 PM:

Some little cableknit sweater-wearin’ bald-headed love-parader just bummed a cigarette from me, with the explanation, “whew! after a beer, I just haaaaaave to smoke a cigarette!” A beer? Don’t wear yourself out, Moby! But then I saw his girlfriend who, in stark contrast to him, is a bald-headed, sweater-wearin’ love-parader. I guess beer and ecstasy don’t mix.


UPATE 9:15 PM:

I sense a certain restlessness among the service personnel. The little blondie who brought me a beer earlier just offered to replace my current one with a fresh one. As I just received it about 4 minutes ago, I must assume ‘a fresh beer’ is a clumsy euphemism for cheap, filthy, back-alley sex.


UPDATE 9:20 PM:

The buffet will be opening shortly. I’ll have to remember to keep the elbows up.


UPDATE 9:25 PM:

The little lady and I are now sloppy with drink, and the buffet is not yet open. The management will be hearing of this.


UPDATE 21:32:

You know, I tell Ihnen what: Zee problem wizz zee Event right now eez: the buffet isn’t open yet. I’m gettin hungry. And Rube’s eating all me peenuts (no euphemism, i swear). --ann


UPDATE 21:35:

Rube’s hitting his head... ‘v gotta look after his laptop... wonder why all the hutchy men in here’re wearing a suit and ties... but Hut ab: their baldy heads are so shiny you wouldn’t dare asking what they’ve used to scrub’em... --ann


UPDATE 21:38:

I mean: they serve free beer!! Sounds like a bestechung to me, huh? --ann


UPDATE 21:39:

But the beer is served in tiny little mustache-glasses... don’t think I hit the proper word with mustache... but: the beer... the glasses it’s served in... is way toooo small.... --ann


UPDATE 9:55 PM:

The E-Heldin just showed up with her dude, and of course, the buffet is immediately opened.

Comments

mkorsakov

Hrhr. Seems I've missed something. The free beer for example.

Rube

Uh-oh. You mean we were supposed to pay for all that?!

varzil

Ok. Das Bier war gut bis sehr gut - aber war da nicht doch noch mehr?

Wenn man das so liest, sollte man meinen, das Handelsblatt war schlecht beraten, die Bar schon vorher zu erffnen. Und das wre wirklich schade.

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