You Bitch!
26th of May, 2019

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Saw off my face and call me Freakboy

Well, I guess it’s about time to stop smoking. I found a brown spot under my tongue today. I’ve probably got jaw cancer. Which probably means they’ll need to cut off the lower half of my face, and reduce me to a freak whose tongue just hangs out of a jagged hole under his nose, wagging impotently with every attempt to speak, unable to articulate a sound, just emmitting some sort of excited whistle of gratitude when it’s time for my mush.

Fuck, how did it come to this? I’m only thirty-five. My grandfather smoked for 60 years and only quit because he died. Otherwise, he’d be right here next to me, hooting appreciatively through a tube sticking out of his chest, then we’d go outside and pick up some hookers. Sleep well, Grandpa Arry, you deserved everything you got.

Comments

Eric

.. dude, you're just hitting the high spots..

zonker

You are going to provide endless hours of amusement at the next blog meet, dude. Keep on puffin' and thanks in advance!

Sandy

Oh hey...I quit smoking and because of that I had to quit drinking.

Guess what? That shit didn't last very long...seems I can't do one without the other and I just don't see the drinking thing ending sooooooooooo...where's my cigarettes?

Holy Father

Not to worry, I once found a brown spot on my penis after a midnight Mass. Holy Father

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