Saw off my face and call me Freakboy
Posted by in Living at 6:45 p.m. on Sept. 06th, 20054 Comments 0 Pings
Well, I guess it’s about time to stop smoking. I found a brown spot under my tongue today. I’ve probably got jaw cancer. Which probably means they’ll need to cut off the lower half of my face, and reduce me to a freak whose tongue just hangs out of a jagged hole under his nose, wagging impotently with every attempt to speak, unable to articulate a sound, just emmitting some sort of excited whistle of gratitude when it’s time for my mush.
Fuck, how did it come to this? I’m only thirty-five. My grandfather smoked for 60 years and only quit because he died. Otherwise, he’d be right here next to me, hooting appreciatively through a tube sticking out of his chest, then we’d go outside and pick up some hookers. Sleep well, Grandpa Arry, you deserved everything you got.
Fuck, how did it come to this? I’m only thirty-five. My grandfather smoked for 60 years and only quit because he died. Otherwise, he’d be right here next to me, hooting appreciatively through a tube sticking out of his chest, then we’d go outside and pick up some hookers. Sleep well, Grandpa Arry, you deserved everything you got.
Comments
zonker
September 11, 2005 at 3:02 a.m.:You are going to provide endless hours of amusement at the next blog meet, dude. Keep on puffin' and thanks in advance!
Sandy
September 13, 2005 at 10:53 a.m.:Oh hey...I quit smoking and because of that I had to quit drinking.
Guess what? That shit didn't last very long...seems I can't do one without the other and I just don't see the drinking thing ending sooooooooooo...where's my cigarettes?
Holy Father
September 15, 2005 at 1:40 a.m.:Not to worry, I once found a brown spot on my penis after a midnight Mass. Holy Father
Eric
September 6, 2005 at 11:37 p.m.:.. dude, you're just hitting the high spots..