The Soundtrack to the Onset of Senility
Posted by in Living at 3:40 p.m. on Feb. 09th, 20054 Comments 0 Pings
The Dirty Ashtray » Whoever Said Age is Only a Number and Only a State of Mind Can Kiss my Ass.:
I never realized I was old until one day, when I was laying down to go to sleep, I made this long sort of, ‘arrrrrrrrrrrr’ grunting sound. If I’d then added, “boy, my dogs are a-barkin’” at the end, I would’ve been my dad. That’s when I noticed that pretty much no matter what I do, I make some sort of grunting sound to accompany it. When I sit down, when I stand up, when I reach over to turn on the nightstand-lamp.
And every action has its own distinct sound. I think two old men could always tell what each others doing, even while blind-folded. “Put down that remote, I’m listening to that!” “What remote?” “Don’t you try to fool me, sonny, I recognize the reaching-over-to-the-coffee-table groan when I hears it!” I think it starts at 30. You stretch your back and, for the first time, it just doesn’t feel right without that, “rrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh” as punctuation.
Well, that, and those weird ear-hairs that I’ve got going on.
Comments
Rube
February 10, 2005 at 4:07 p.m.:That works both ways, though, Sandy. Just think what we have to put up with, smooching on big-assed, saggy-tittied old ladies. Imagine the temptation to shave your ears and start trawling the high schools for cheerleaders!
Sandy
February 11, 2005 at 10:23 a.m.:I'm gonna have to call Foul Ball on that Rubey Tubey..yeah see that was way hittin' below the belt. I hate to be the one who blows the lid off here but that Double Standard stuff..it's alive and kickin'..ummmm I mean me female can say whatever I want..you male can't. I know it's not fair and all but..it's just the truth.
Hi Ann...I am so gonna have to drive down to meet you..I have a friend in Stuttgart who I visit..you guys are kinda close right? Stuttgart not too far?
Sandy
February 10, 2005 at 2:25 p.m.:The hairs in the ear are freakin' my husband out..I have a feelin' he's not gonna age well and I mean mentally. I've caught him doing the gruntin' thing more and more in the past year..it's cute. What a crock of shit though..you guys get old and grunt..us women..gravity takes over and we get saggy tits, big asses and we got smooch on a guy with hair coming out of his damn ears..don't forget the crazy eyebrows some "old men" start sprouting..ewwwwww.