You Bitch!
25th of September, 2017

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Rube

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Ten Commandments, Status Report

How am I doing so far? Let’s see.

1. I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before me.

Define “strange”. On the whole, I’d go with this one. 1!

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzt. Ok, movin’ on...

3. Remember thou keep the Sabbath Day.

I think that should actually be “thou keepest”. Or is imperative conjugated differently? I’m not sure. As for the substance of the commandment, all the stores and businesses are closed in Europe on Sunday, so I’ll take that as a yes. 2!

4. Honor thy Father and thy Mother.

Though we’ve had our differences, I do honor mom and dad, as far as that goes. 3!

5. Thou shalt not kill.

This is soo easy! 4!

6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Hmmm. I’m not married. Does that count? 5!

7. Thou shalt not steal.

Well, I stole lunch today. Bzzzzzzt.

8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Nope, don’t lie about people. 6!

9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife.

Considering my neighbors, this is a slam-dunk. 7!

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s goods.

I’m not much of a materialist, not that there’s anything wrong with being a materialist. Still, it would be nice if my heater worked like the guy’s upstairs...doh! Bzzzzzzzt!


Well, 7 out of 10. That’s not half bad for not even trying.

How’s your race against Hell going?

Comments

maura

I'm only battin' fifty, pal.

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