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21st of September, 2017

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Apparently They Missed the Memo

The 60’s are over, fellas. Maybe y’all weren’t paying attention when the comet struck, but that doesn’t make the surface-mounted, hand-cranked pencil sharpener any less extinct. You might as well sharpen a pencil with a meatgrinder for all the finèsse you can squeeze out of a Berol Giant or a *cough* Boston Ranger. The Ranger looks impressive, and will put fear into your enemies, but those old dinosaurs jam like an M16 Mk.1 on the Mekong. Just try and explain to the examiner that you couldn’t complete your SAT because you’re No.2 Faber was twisted like a hexagonal pretzel.

It’s the twenty-first century, boys. Get with the program. Today, it’s all about reliability, performance, and mobility. That’s why YouBitch officially endorses the Staedtler 5123 “Triplus” MPSS.

staedtler-full.jpg

The lines of the Staedtler are modern, and functional. The triangular design provides the kind of stability and ease of use expected in a modern MPSS.

But ease of use doesn’t have to come at the expense of flexibility:

staedtler-top.jpg

The Staedtler 5123 “Triplus” provides two (2) sharpening access points for simultaneous sharpening of multiple subjects.

But beauty isn’t always only skin deep:

staedtler-internal.jpg

Inside the 5123 you’ll find two (2) stainless steel shaving elements, handcrafted in Solingen, Germany. You’ll also find the 5123’s generous shavings reservoir suited to the most demanding sharpening tasks.

In conclusion, the Triplus is the Nissan Skyline of modern sharpening systems. The advanced design and extensive use of space-age materials offer high performance with a degree of mobility only dreamed of in older, traditional sharpeners like those from Boston and Berol.

The Triplus, and other fine products from Staedtler Germany, can be found at McPaper for about €1.50.

Comments

Velociman

Aye, the '60's are gone, but apparently H R Pufnstuf lives in that Staedtler. You actually have to turn the pencil, instead of a crank? How do you work the nib around to get it extra fine? I actually like smaller razor-types, and have an (cue blasphemy music: what? Rob Zomby?) electric. Just for the times I need to feed the fetish in a hurry.

Velociworld

<strong>Dueling Grinders</strong>

I SO did not want to go here. But BeeBee tried to take me to school with a vintage old Boston pencil sharpener. Ah. Yes. A venerable old tool. I applaud it. Well, lookit what they put out lately: Tintype...

BeeBee

Ah, but, is that what you want to look back on years from now? That little thing with a yellow elephant on it?

Didn't they tell you to bring more than one pencil to the SAT?

Plus, my Boston 55 Ranger has never jammed, ever, even with the crayons my kids would try to sharpen in it.

Now I'm going to go have a beer.

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