You Bitch!
25th of September, 2017

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Bush Haters

As I noted last year, the unbridled hatred of George Bush makes me nervous. It’s not hard to believe he’ll be assassinated at some point. In order to defeat the bug, I said to myself as I was shaving this morning, you have to understand the bug. Speaking of shaving, I usually use a single-blade safety razor, like grandpa’s, to shave with. Those things are downright dangerous once they get dull; you might as well wear an orange jumpsuit and sit cross-legged on the floor while you shave, exhorting your people to rise up against the oppressor and follow your example by also shaving their heads off, praise be to Allah. I can’t find new blades anywhere; I guess I’ll have to buy a new razor. So I thought of a few reasons to hate George Bush.

Reasons to Hate George W. Bush

  • A President needs to have a way with words. Bush...not have way

  • He gave you a wedgy in high school

  • He gave you a wedgy in 2000

  • He took the last fucking slice of pizza, that bitch

  • He banged your girlfriend at that party

  • He’s one of those religious fundamentalists

  • He always makes that shitty little self-righteous coughing noise when you light a cigarette IN A BAR, for fuck’s sake

  • He doesn’t drink

  • That Medicare thing



Screw George W. Bush.

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