The Grand Unified Theory of Rubean Mechanics

I like reading Scott Adams’ blog on occasion. Much like Balph Eubanks, he’s glib, amusing, and completely lacking in morality. Take, for example, his latest strawman-laden posting regarding the visit of a certain Mr. Ahmedinejad:

I was happy to hear that NYC didn’t allow Iranian President Ahmadinejad to place a wreath at the WTC site. And I was happy that Columbia University is rescinding the offer to let him speak. If you let a guy like that express his views, before long the entire world will want freedom of speech.
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If Ahmadinejad thinks he can be our friend by honoring our heroes and opening a dialog, he underestimates our ability to misinterpret him. Fucking idiot. I hate him.

Well, there’s certainly some rye wit at work here. Yes, it is quite ironic that a country led by a genocidal religious dictator, which the USA most certainly is, would object to a fellow genocidal religious madman visiting its most sensitive cultural site. I mean, Mahmoud’s only trying to “open a dialog” here, isn’t he? Isn’t that the meaning of Ahmedinejad’s visit? Isn’t Ahmedinejad just exercising “Free Speech”, as Adams says? Aren’t we wrong in denying this poor man that right?

Aside from the obvious jackassery involved in claiming that a man who directly controls his entire country’s media is having trouble getting his point of view out; or that the United Nations will let him speak before the leaders of the world to the point where they forget to blink for an hour; aside from all this, this is not a question of whether or not Mahmoud is allowed to say what he wants. The question is, in accordance with the Grand Unified Theory of Rubean Mechanics, Who’s going to pay for it. It’s a question of whether or not Americans should be paying for his plane fare, his security, and his accommodation while he’s here, pissing on Ground Zero and generating propaganda for totalitarian lobbying groups like MoveOn.org and International ANSWER.

All of Adams’ ridiculous assertions never mention the one central fact here: There is no compelling reason for American taxpayers to foot the bill, so this guy, who just held one of his popular “Death to America” parades, can come over here and lecture them on anything. I personally don’t much care what Ahmedinejad thinks, I can see the general thrust of his inclinations. He’s spitting on the United States and Western Culture daily, and then expects to be treated with deference in return. Fuck him.

This kind of Devil’s Advocacy isn’t new to Adams. At least, I hope it’s just that. He’s apparently one of those celebrities that have forgotten the hard work involved in their ascendency, and assume that they’re rich because of some accident of nature, akin to divine providence. Humans, himself included, are all just a bunch of “moist robots” with no capacity for thought, no free will; we’ve apparently just been programmed by Mother Nature to do the things we’ve done or will do. There is no mind, there is no choice, there is only the stimuli in our environments, and the response that was determined by a chance arrangement of atoms into chemicals during the Big Bang. Or something.

It’s an obscene display of thoughtlessness, a conceit of someone trying so hard to seem above all this. Adams’ Dilbert is amusing, and his blog is a bit of junk food for the brain at times. But he’s got the morals of a two-dollar whore.