If you’re as vehemently anti-Socialist, read: libertarian, as I am, you’ve probably written Europe off. Europe is a socialist playground, unfortunately. Germany, France, England, and a few other countries are officially stuck in the tar, and have sadly already started their sad, slow, hopeless slide into the pits of 8th grade history class. It’s all over but the archaeology at this point. But life goes on, and there will be a resurrection. If Europe is to live on, it must decide what defines Europe.

If you ask a European, he’ll tell you that what defines a European nation is the ‘nation’ itself, which means, in the modern context, the race that inhabits it. Germans are Germans owing to either their pale skin, or, in the case of the rassige Germans, their family’s documentable lineage. The French are exactly the same. There’s a defined border between racially indigenous Europeans, and the dreaded Einwanderer, or immigrants. I could probably pass as a German, despite my bushy red sideburns. I understand the social requirements. I understand them at least enough to know how much they chafe at individualism, and I avoid breaking said requirements in exasperating ways. Once I get rid of my outrageous American accent, my pale skin and decorum would suitably qualify me as a German.

You see, Socialism dooms the Europeans. Socialism is itself an obvious lie. I’ll give you an example. It’s often said that Europeans are tightwads, but that’s not exactly the truth. To understand them, you have to look no further than their tipping system. When drink in a German bar, for example, the tip is built into the price of the drinks. And it’s not a stingy tip, either: It’s 18%. This means, obviously, that no matter how good the service is, you’re tipping them very well for a job not yet done. The joke is, it’s an unspoken rule that you ignore the built-in tip, and give the waiter a little bit extra as trinkgeld, or ‘drinking money’. I usually rebel at this point. I give at least 10% tip to whomever serves me, because I understand that the establishment keeps the 18% for itself. Now, never mind the fact that the average waiter in Germany gets paid a fortune in comparison to a waiter in the U.S. (basically, they actually get a real paycheck, and health insurance), and they can only hardly be fired, owing to the whole worker’s paradise thing. Imagine being a waiter where it didn’t matter how good you did your job, you’d still make rent and you couldn’t be fired! How hard would you actually work? And for what purpose?

That is Socialism. I spent an evening talking with The Snowfrog, an ex-East German. We talked about an astounding array of subjects, as we usually do when we’ve had enough to drink. The Socialist politicians in Germany prey upon the good intentions of Germans. They practice extravagant charity with money that doesn’t belong to them, and humility through the debasement of hard-working people that have no choice in the matter. All the arguments in European politics revolve around the getting of money, as all politics do, without the common courtesy of speaking directly with those to whom the money belongs!

European politics consists of morality brokers, who promise to use your money for moral purposes that you could only dream of being good enough for fulfilling yourself. They will force you, under threat of imprisonment, to be charitable and loving of your fellow man.

And your fellow man will be ungrateful, and will spit upon you, given the opportunity. At least when you leave a good tip, someone should say ‘thank you’.