I can think of seven people that I know right now, off the top of my head, that eat their own snot, right out of their nose. Boogers! I can remember a period of my childhood where I actually did that. I was a world-class, pre-kindergarten gold-digger. I got busted by a grown-up once, and was immediately, irrevocably cured of the habit. That particular grown-up ridiculed me to the point that it almost became an obsession busting other people that do it, not to get too Freud on you, but probably to reaffirm my estimation of my self as a passable human being.

It’s strange when you see it. You notice that light flick of the wrist, which sends the pinky into the nose, and then a non-discript motion that brings the nail down to the tongue, delivering the golden payload. It’s probably a subconscious thing that people do, when they’re under stress or in their cups. But still, I always wondered what would happen if I called somebody on it. How would that happen? What would be the best thing to say in that situation? Could I just say, “Hey, man, you just went diggin’ and ate it. Give a hundred dollars.”

A buddy of mine in college had a co-op job at an engineering contractor in Atlanta. He told me once that his boss, who was the owner’s daughter, was an incorrigible, albeit extremely clever booger-eater. He said you’d be talking to her in a meeting, and if it got stressful, her hands would be all over her face. She’d pull amazing sleight-of-hand tricks and diversions, like scratching her eyebrow with her middle-finger, while her pinky was buried in her nose. Then, she’d rub her hand down her face, delivering the goods to her tongue, all while speaking to 15 to 20 people about a million-dollar job. He was horrified, and could only talk about it in hushed tones. I understand completely. I mean, how do you tell your boss that her booger-eating freaks you out?