Damn. Just...damn.
Posted by in Living at 3:28 p.m. on June 29th, 20043 Comments 0 Pings
Holy smokes! I just took a couple of things out of my refrigerator that I wasn’t sure I could legally throw into the garbage, owing to strict German HAZMAT regulations. I had trouble identifying some of them; luckily, most of the labels were still legible, under the green slime running down the sides. Every time I clean out my fridge, I swear to God it’s the last time I’ll let the shit go like that. It’s amazing, and repulsive, to compare the inhabitants of my refrigerator in their original form to the pulsating, slimy, hideous, mutated forms they’ve now assumed.
I swear, I will never let that shit go like this again.
Update: Fridge-rot zeitgeist?
| Some Inhabitants of My Refigerator in their Original Form | The Pulsating, Slimy, Hideous, Mutated Forms They’ve Now Assumed |
|---|---|
| 1 cup Crme-Fraiche | A sort of wet, dark green algal life-form. It manages to be simultaneously furry and slimy, and smells like feet. |
| 250 gram wheel Angeroux Cheese | An abomination, characterized by the outward appearance of Angeroux Cheese, yet the wax rind has been replaced by a fine, downy layer of mold, and the once-golden creamy cheese has turned sepia. It, too, smells of feet. |
| 1/2 can sweet golden corn | Interestingly, this has become corned beef hash with onions. I don’t understand how this can be. |
| 1/2 can mushrooms in water. | Sweet Jesus, I cannot describe the contents of this can. I can only say that it’s no longer filled with mushrooms as you or I would undestand them. That, and they also smell like feet. |
| 1 cup sour cream | This turned out remarkably similar to the Crme-Fraiche, although the fur is a slightly lighter shade of green. One notable difference: The slime seems to have crawled up and over the rim of the cup at some point before going into hibernation. |
I swear, I will never let that shit go like this again.
Update: Fridge-rot zeitgeist?
Comments
McGehee
June 29, 2004 at 8:47 p.m.:Ack! If all those things smell like feet to you, Rube, please do us all a favor and keep your shoes on. ;-)
Gut Rumbles
June 29, 2004 at 5:39 p.m.:<strong>smells like feet</strong>
Yeah, been there, done that. It's ugly and some of the aromas are worse than sweaty feet. I'll bet the...